Julia Laube:
A few years ago, when I was a sophomore in college, I attended a house party with a few friends. I knew the tenants of the house/hosts of the party, all senior men, one of the reasons I felt comfortable going. One of the hosts was a friend of mine, named Drew. Flash forward into the night, and the party is in full swing, everyone is having a great time. There’s even some dancing, a shock given the lack of dancing at many of my school’s house parties! Drew was DJ-ing, given that it was his house. The song Caroline by hip-hop artist Aminé came on.
The bridge in the song begins with “Killa, westside (N-word).” Right as the N-word was about to be said in the song, Drew paused the music. The majority White male crowd, with gusto, still shouted the N-word, as they hadn’t anticipated the music being paused. The entire house immediately “OOOOHHHH!!’d” and everyone looked around at each other with surprise, possibly feigned if they had secretly been one of the individuals saying it. Drew, amidst the chaos, very calmly pointed at specific individuals that he had seen sing it
The thing is, nothing really happened after that – after the initial shock the music eventually resumed, the dancing resumed, and all the White people didn’t have to give it a second thought. I didn’t really have a chance to debrief with Drew, something I regret, as I’m sure this must’ve been impactful for him. It was very eye opening to see these liberal arts students, who are allegedly “woke,” so blatantly disregard all they know about the pain and oppression inherent in the use of that word, and co-opt said word that Black Americans have been working to reclaim for some time now.
I have some advice that I would offer White parents who find that their children commit micro-aggressions, such as singing the N-word when it comes on in songs. I would suggest that they open with a question, asking why their child feels the need to sing it. If the child countered with the argument that “it’s in the song” and therefore is meant to be sung, I would argue the parent should remind the child about reclamation, and what it means for Black Americans to use that work amongst themselves, and how that is different from White people trying to co-opt it as well.
Regardless, I would suggest that parents remind their children that language is powerful, and that there is centuries of oppression, hate, and degradation associated with that word as it was used by White people to further marginalize Black people. Overall, I would suggest that parents are direct and firm with children on this matter, because it wouldn’t be surprising for children to disregard the scolding/teaching and continue to sing it with their friends and peers.
An additional viewpoint: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ta-nehisi-coates-n-word_n_5a0a025ce4b0b17ffcdf9d67